Empty - Cranberries

Empty - Cranberries

Something has left my life
And I don’t know where it went to
Somebody caused me strife
And it’s not what I was seeking.

Didn’t you see me, didn’t you hear me
Didn’t you see me standing there

Why did you turn out the lights
Did you know that I was sleeping

Say a prayer for me
Help to feel the strength I did
My identity has been taken
Is my heart breaking on me

All my plans fell though my hands
They fell
Though my hands on me
In my obvious it suddenly seems
Empty

Bilang apa saja tentang diriku saat ini. Aku tak peduli.

just me anyway..

Rasanya wuhhhh.... ngga ngerti apa..!!
Damn, it's been a while since this crazy friendship things play around with me.

Now i'm listening Cranberries with headphone on and i just dont care anything. Wuhhhh....

I'm feeling me, my self, my ignorant person deep inside, lonely that happened forever.
My self, sad and alone. Somehow i feel damn fine with this feeling.

I always love cranberries. They have something that makes you feel sad and lonely, something that makes you might kill your self because just being you...
Unhappy feeling like this is a very good feeling that happened today.

Feels like longing something but you dont even know what is the thingg.

Just listen to this song, brought me somewhere, a place far away from the real world. A place that only me stay there and sore.

Sometimes i just feel i'm hurt. Don't know why, just hurt.

and no one to share because i'm alone. always.
and it's hard to handle. very hard.

Friendhip is a hard thing, being with family also not that easy.

Then probably that's why i choose to be alone.

I hate my self for being alone, but it seems no one understand. Not even my self.
That place where it's only me live there looks fine.

This feeling never leave me alone.

No one can help me with this.

Then just let me enjoy this sickness and sadness and hurt feeling that could kill slowly.

It's just me anyway, alone, sad and sore

No Need to Argue

No need to argue anymore

There's no need to argue anymore
I gave all I could but it left me so sore
And the thing that makes me mad
Is the one thing that I had

I knew, I knew, I'd lose you
You'll always be special to me, special to me, to me

And I remember all the things we once shared
Watching TV, movies on the living room armchair
But they say it'll work out fine
Was it all a waste of time?

'Cause I knew, I knew, I'd lose you
You'll always be special to me, special to me, to me

Will I forget in time
I said, I was on your mind
There's no need to argue
No need to argue anymore
There's no need to argue anymore
Special

Ulang Tahun dan aku

Sabtu kemarin, usiaku bertambah setahun.
Aku menua. Aku tak kuasa dengan pertambahan usia ini.
Sedikit menyeramkan. Karena aku ingin tetabh menjadi Hanni si lucu, si imut, si cantik (ngarebhh), si polos, si gemesin.

Tak pelak perasaan tua itu muncul tanpa tedeng alingaling. Temanteman yang sudah menikah, temanteman yang kemudian hamil, temanteman yang kemudian bicara tentang keluarga. Sesuatu yang menohok hati. Aku juga merasa telah tiba saatnya aku menjadi seperti itu, menjadi sama dengan mereka.

Rasanya hati ini melankoli. Hidup yang ku lalui harus bergerak keatas. Aku sepertinya stuck di tempat.

Kira-kira sepuluh tahun lalu aku begitu excited dengan pertambahan usia. Sekarang, terasa berath. Ketidakinginan bertambah usia semakin kuat. Andai saja waktu bisa di tahan. Andai saja aku bisa memutar saatsaat yang sudah lewat.

Aku sendiri. Bertahuntahun begitu. Terbiasa begitu.

Ingin rasanya ditemani, membentuk keluarga sendiri. Terasa aneh, karena telah terlalu lama sendiri. Melankoli.

Selalu aku hidup untuk target yang telah ditetapkan orang. Untuk kebahagiaan orang. Tak terpikir bagaimana untukku. Karena rasanya jika orang sudah merasakan bahagia maka aku pun merasa bahagia.

Jatuh cinta pun rasanya sudah terlalu lama terjadi, belum ada lagi yang mengguncang hati. Kapan ya..? Aku bertanya ini untukku. jatuh cinta adalah hal sangat egois yang terjadi didalam hidup. ketika hati meminta waktu yang sangat banyak diberikan untuknya. Rasa haus yang tak terpuaskan. Meminta lagi dan lagi. Tidak bisa berhenti.

Aku hanya bermain dengan kenangan dan mimpimimpi. Saatnya untuk maju bertindak meninggalkan masa lalu dan menyongsong masa depan. For god sake, i am old now...!!

Be matured Hanni..! Gosh... i dont wanna let this child things inside my soul gone.

Mengapa harus ada ulang tahun ya....? Why oh why...? can we stay at this time forever?

Well.. anyway i dont really have a verry good time to freeze forever.

perfect day..?dont think so, but i hope i never grow old.. fiuhhhhh forever young....

--Cranberries : never grow old--

Hwaaaaahhhhhh, menua ini, hal yang tidak aku suka... huhuhuhuhu aku ingin menua dengan orang yang juga menua bersamaku. Supaya tidak menua sendiri. Di usiaku yang sudah banyak ini.

Ulang tahun dan aku, uuhhh... semoga jalan di depan selalu indah.

Hanni, i love you full.