I'd like to say something to you. Do you have a minute?

Since we haven’t meet to each other for years and I don’t think that you really wanna see me because you don’t even know me and probably we would never meet again. I have something to admit.

I was your junior at junior high. Fadlani’s friend (ring a bell?)

I know you because you and Lani also friend. Actually Lanni and you were look alike, such a brother and sister.

Then,

I was the one instructed by the gank (lani was included) – long time ago, to call you and ask you out for a movie.
Yes, we had a conversation on the phone that time.
You came with your friend (saut), but the gank didn’t. I came.
I saw you at the parking lot. I was with someone else. So, it was four of us there.
And we were watching the same movie. We came late.

I felt terrible, because the gank didn’t come. And I saw you with something I didn’t know. You were very quiet.
It was your eyes that I saw. Alone and sad. You looked fragile. You have beautiful pair of eyes with strong eyebrow, similar with Lani. That, I remember. It wasn’t sorry that I felt because you and I have been fooled by the gank, I felt something else. Maybe that was the time that I feel you were different with others. You have your own world. Because you didn’t seem blend with others. After that, I keep watching you from distance. You were the most interesting human being that time, at least for me. Then I met a lot of interesting people and of course it ‘s because I am an interesting person. Well I don’t mean interesting is attractive or loveable or adorable. It’s just because of me is me.

FYI, I was invisible for you. I felt that way.

Then, we’re friend on facebook. You read my note. I was surprised.
I didn’t expect that you will read that stupid note. Because actually, my note is story of my life.
I feel naked in front of you. No, I feel somehow, now I am visible. Well, the note was published on FB, but I didn’t think people will read. That is just stupid note. That is just me.
After that you had my attention. Surprise surprise that you were the speaker for Nagabumi Seno Gumira. One of my favorite authors.

See, you are something beyond my imagination.
I don’t think meeting you is good for me. I’m weirdo with my own imagination. I don’t think that I can really have conversation with you.
Before, I saw you as a dark angel with bleeding wings (just my imagination), strong and weak at the sametime. Hurt, most of the time. I’m afraid I will tell you something weird and you can’t understand any of word that comes out from my uncontrolled mouth.

I was thinking you are my reflection. I was thinking seeing me in you, alone, sad, trying to be tough and weak at the sametime. I guess that’s just my imagination. I’m softening sentence ‘I was wrong’. I was thinking too much.

Well, I’m having my period now that’s why I sound crazy. Eh mm I’m doing this everyday.
It’s crazy me.

Just ignore.